Admittedly, I'm a woman of a certain age: old enough to know better (but young enough to not give a damn). The inevitable dreams of childbearing were bound to occur. The first such dream just occurred about a week ago, and that's where the true mystery of birth begins...
There was no husband around, I was to be a single mom. I crouched over, old-school, woman in a rice paddy style; I reached down and held in my arms a beautiful, healthy 8lb...cocktail shrimp. Yes - I had birthed a giant appetizer.
Generally one would be alarmed by giving birth to something non-human, however, I chuckled and held it in my arms proudly - because it was my jumbo cocktail shrimp. I loved it so much.
Next Scene: I'm casually explaining to my mother how being unwed with a child - a monster cocktail shrimp-child - is totally fine because, as I rationalized it, "I always wanted a cat". As I'm telling my mother not to worry about me and the future of my healthy baby I look over at it (it wasn't sexed, nor did it have eyes) and see my tasty bundle of joy morph into the cat I always wanted. Again, instead of shock I was amused and laughed happily at my good luck - as I'd been saying to my Mom, "I always wanted a cat."
Final scene: I'm talking to a friend about my baby cat who's playing just outside my line of vision, again, maintaining that it was totally fine, that I was happy with having a baby crustacean that by some unseen power, transformed into a feline - and as I'm genuinely saying how happy I am I look over and my little kitten had blossomed into a beautiful little girl, with hair like mine when I was her age.
I laughed again at my wondrous luck. And was happy.
Later, of course, I woke up wondering what the fuck!?
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